If you feel constant tension and irritability, and with all things prefer to deal with themselves because your motto in life is “if you want to do something well, do it yourself,” then most likely you have a mania of total control of everything and everything in your life.
You may not notice how your family and friends suffer from your control because you are constantly making demands on them and giving out advice on how to live properly. All this can affect your relationships with others and your health.
These are the signs that you seek to control everything:
- Tendency to give out advice, even if you have not been asked for it.
- Inability to negotiate with people and delegate responsibilities.
- Distrust of other people.
- Unwillingness to admit mistakes and accept criticism.
- Rigid planning.
- Fear of things going wrong.
- Desire to be right all the time.
Consequences of Excessive Control
When you maniacally monitor your emotions, feelings, actions, and tension builds up in the body due to the simultaneous influence of stimulus and inhibitory neurons. High muscular and psycho-emotional tension depletes your nervous system. It leads to anxiety disorders, sleep disorders, neurosis, panic attacks, and other unpleasant consequences.
When you direct the focus of attention to others, begin to control their children, partner, colleagues, friendships and relationships collapse, and there is trouble at work. Those around you don’t succumb to other people’s control and protest. This causes great anxiety in a person prone to hypercontrol. They are afraid of losing the rudder of control, of being without work and loved ones around them.
Total control of your life and the desire to control others arise from fear of change and insecurity. The first step is to recognize that you have a tendency to control everything and that this prevents you from living a calm and relaxed life.
Once you recognize this, take a deep breath, exhale and follow these points that will help you loosen your control.
Relax
The world won’t turn upside down if you take some time to yourself and distract yourself from your current tasks and to-do’s. Practicing yoga and meditation will help you leave all the chores for later and be alone with yourself and your body. If you want to combine fun and relaxing, then watch a comedy show or play 9 Masks of Fire demo. Each of these activities will also help you deal with tension and irritability.
Stop Deciding for Others
And let them do what they think is right and necessary, even if you think differently. Your control is “stifling” and suppressing the people around you, stop giving out advice to everyone and telling people how they should live their lives.
Learn to Delegate
Smart leaders don’t execute, they delegate. You’ll free up tons of time for your personal endeavors if you allow others to prove themselves. And they’ll probably do things better than you ever imagined.
Recognize the Variability of What’s Going on
If you’re used to making plans, think through several contingency plans at once. Things may not go the way you expected. And that’s okay. Uncertainty scares us, and it causes us suffering. You have to accept that anything is possible.
Love Spontaneity
Sometimes things that didn’t go according to plan can lead to unexpected and pleasant results. Try new things. Do something you’ve never done, go to places that are new to you, and say yes more often. We can even get to work by taking new routes.
Often the desire to be in control is just an escape from fears and an inability to trust the world around us. Total control is the wall we build around our lives, not allowing ourselves to look to the right, left, or over the horizon.
